4-16-11

Saturday.
I spent the morning in bed with a migraine.
then...
I graded papers.
I talked with my Grandma.
I made an educational video for my students.

I cooked an awesome lasagna and a spinach salad.
I vacuumed the first floor of the house.
Tired, I went to bed early and dreamed of my Nana and Grandaddy.

Here is the dream: I haven't seen them in many years (in fact, it has been ~23 years since they died) and I go to visit. I see my Nana sitting in front of her house from my vantage point near my friend Lizanne's house; I see her face and her white hair, and I start to run to her. I'm SO happy to see her after so many years, I try to run fast, but I cannot run fast enough so I actually fly to her as if I'm swimming through water. We embrace and I feel so happy. So very very happy. We go inside and my Grandaddy is bent over the green chair with chest pains. I rub his back and tell him everything is going to be OK. Dan is with me too. The four of us decide to go to the store. We all drive there, and then when it is time to go back to their house Dan and my Grandaddy drive but my Nana decides to walk with me. It's about a 4 mile walk. She is wearing nice shoes and a dress, and she just walks and walks with me as we talk and talk. I ask her if she is tired or in any pain, and she says her feet hurt a little, but that's all. We get back to the house and my Grandaddy talks about how hard it is for him to get up the stairs to the bathroom to take a shower. We talk about adding on a full bathroom to the first floor of their house where the screened in porch is. I decide to buy them a new comforter for their bed. Then it is time to go, and I'm so so sad to leave. It's very painful to leave them but I have to.

I wake up glad that I had a little time to visit with them once again. I hope I can visit them in my dreams again soon.

This day on 4-16

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4-15-11

Today I rested. After a week and a half of running around and working like crazy, I took TWO naps today, did a little work, but mainly just chilled. It was gloomy and rainy outside so I stayed home and chilled. Squirt saw this bird in the bird bath actually taking a bath, and my camera was nearby, so I snapped its picture quickly.

This day on 4-15

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4-14-11

Today was almost magical and I'll tell you why. See this dogwood flower? The perfect symbol of spring? Well, today felt like re-birth to me.

Like a fern opening, I felt a breath of life this morning. I didn't want to get out of bed, so to prolong the eventual start to the day I watched some videos on my iPhone. I saw this one: 2000 Voices
I cried. I felt a sense of heaviness in my chest that could have been joy, but was most likely longing. So, I got up and I went downstairs and played my piano. How many years ago was it that I wrote that piece with 12 movements that I performed at church on Good Friday? I think it was 1995. I played one of the sections and it felt so beautiful. I was in my element.

I went to school and taught my favorite lesson of the semester to my students. I looked out over their faces, like these beautiful primroses, and said to them, "I am so happy to be here with you all this morning. There is no place I'd rather be. OK, maybe home in bed. OK, maybe with my three kids, but except for those two places there is no place I'd rather be. I love teaching you." It was a fantastic class. I was in my element.

I took the bus home (I love the bus) and walked into my yard and saw all sorts of flowers in bloom. Aza came over for dinner, which we went to the store to purchase, and I got myself some kombucha, and sat at the kitchen table with Squirt and Aza eating dinner and drinking kombucha. I was in my element.

Plus, I finally got the results back from my MRI today. I am still cancer free after 6 years. Perhaps I'm turning a corner. Or perhaps I just had a very good day. But my Dan is home safely from his trip, Aza cleaned my kitchen, Jes is coming to visit next month, and all feels right with the world.

This day on 4-14

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4-13-11

I felt overwhelmed today. An intense meeting to prepare for, a stack of papers to grade, and my husband out of town on a business trip. No food in the house, a dirty kitchen, just overwhelmed.

This day on 4-13

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4-12-11

We got home late last night, and when I woke up this morning I looked outside and the first thing I saw was dogwoods in bloom and redbuds. It felt like home. The trees were greening up and the air was cool and moist. Ahhh!

Plus, my lilacs are in bloom.

I had to teach today, and class went well. I love teaching electric circuits.

This day on 4-12

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4-11-11

Presented my poster this morning. Then packed up and took Dan to an urgent care center for some help with his back. Drove to Baton Rouge and endured a day of flying. Home at 11pm exhausted but excited to be back in the classroom tomorrow!

This day on 4-11

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4-10-11

This day did not turn out as expected. Dan and I were going to spend the day exploring New Orleans and have a nice dinner date with some friends. Instead, Dan threw his back out and spent the day trying to recover. I attended some AERA sessions, met a colleague for coffee and beignets, and attended the Virginia universities reception at my hotel. This hotel, by the way, is stunning. These are flowers in the lobby.

This day on 4-10

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4-9-11

This is our hotel on Bourbon Street. Luckily we got a room overlooking the inner garden courtyard, so it's quiet.

Bourbon Street, on the other hand is a complete and utter zoo. Noisy, crowded, chaotic, and overwhelming. The whole French Quarter is that way. I loved the French Quarter this morning at 7am on my way to breakfast- cool, freshly washed streets, few people... but now it's overwhelming.

I conferenced for 9.5 hours today and came back to my hotel room completely exhausted.

This day on 4-9

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4-8-11

We spent today with my grandmother...

in Lake Arthur, Louisiana...

where live oaks live...

near shrimp boats in canals...

leading to the lake, which leads to the Gulf.

It was sad to leave and make the trip to New Orleans. We took the back way to make it interesting.

This day on 4-8

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4-7-11

Caught the 5:45am shuttle to the airport in Orlando, flew to Atlanta to meet up with Dan, and then flew with him to Baton Rouge where we got to visit with THESE little people! Igor's twin babies!!!

Then we drove on to my grandmother's house. We went out to Nott's for dinner and Skyped with my mom. Great times here in south Louisiana.

This day on 4-7

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4-6-11

I gave my paper today. Had lunch with Igor and my new boss, the WIC. Went to dinner with my old high school friend Dieter and his son. We were accosted by elephants at the Rainforest Cafe!

This day on 4-6

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4-5-11

What a crazy day. Got up at 4am to catch a 6am flight to Orlando. Flew through a thunderstorm that just about made me lose my stomach. Took a shuttle from the airport to the hotel, changed into business attire and went right to the awards ceremony. Igor saved me a seat. From that, straight to a presentation with my colleagues at Tech, and then a shower and out to dinner with a lovely crew of people. Slept poorly on the couch in my hotel suite so as not to wake my roommate with all my coughing. But it's great to see some of my fabulous friends here!

This day on 4-5

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4-4-11

Today I spent 5 hours in the LEX airport with storms and delays and chaos and tornado watches and finally boarded a plane and then learned it was to be re- routed and needed a new flight plan and more fuel and would take 45 minutes longer than usual... And I did the math... And missing the connection in ATL was highly probable so I got up and left. Called Dan to come get me. You gotta know when to fold 'em.

Booked on a 6am flight tomorrow, hopefully in sunny weather after a good night's sleep.

This day on 4-4

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4-3-11

OK, so for those of you following this saga, I slept last night. I'd taken the antibiotic and prednisone in the morning, but no cough syrup. Slept. Woke this morning around 9, still very tired but one of those "I just woke up" tireds.

Worked all day. Make my Powerpoint, printed off all the copies of my paper, read the other paper I'm giving for someone who is unable to attend the conference, and ate dinner and watched 147 Hours, that movie about the guy who had to cut his arm off to save his life in a slot canyon in Utah.

Then I called my daughter Jes who had spent the weekend in a slot canyon in Utah. She was in the car on the way back to Denver with Root. She said they were very near where the guy was trapped. Oh my God, I'm glad she had her cell phone on.

Leaving in the morning for a week at two conferences. I feel better. It will be fine. This day on 4-3-1984 I met my Dan. My life changed forever.

This day on 4-3

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4-2-11

So last night I slept very lightly. Woke up every hour with vivid dreams. At one point my right toe had a bout of gout and it was "speaking to me through a TV monitor." I woke up, put a heating pad on it, and it quieted down.

I felt better today. Walked the dog. Cooked a stew. Made fudge sauce. Did a pile of work that had been plaguing me for my classes and the upcoming conferences and an advisee and a committee at school that I'm in charge of. Super productive while doped up and hacking and feeling faint.

Talked with the physician's assistant and wants me to call him tomorrow if I can't sleep tonight. He thinks the cough syrup was the culprit. I have no idea. I just know I need to be able to sleep especially with my trip coming up.

This day on 4-2

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4-1-11

Well, those magic medicines kept me up all night. Was it the cough syrup? The powerful antibiotic? The steroid? I don't know. I was up ALL NIGHT.

This day on 4-1

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3-31-11

Gonna feel better now.
Had my 2-year review today and I felt like a zombie. Went to the doctor right afterwards.

3-30-11

Woke up and looked out the window and my first thought was "OH NO! Not SNOW again!!??!!" Then I realized it was a tree in bloom. Whew. I dragged myself to two observations today which were fabulous- two dynamic science lessons. Found out I got an abstract accepted for a publication, met a student at school to discuss a lesson tomorrow on electricity, and am beat tired and still sick as a dog.

This day on 3-30

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3-29-11

Joined my department meeting on Skype on my iPhone in bed. I have awesome colleagues.

This day on 3-29

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3-28-11

I am sick. Stayed in bed ALL day long. Ugggggg.....

This day on 3-28

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3-27-11

Woke up to coat of snow, sore throat, sniffles, and slight fever. First cold of the season coincided with the last snow (or so we hope).

This is a view of our new neighbor's new fence. It's a pretty fence. Hope she has a nice garden in there to look at!

So I had a somewhat lazy Sunday lying in bed with this yucky cold all morning. Finally convinced myself to face the day and decided to clean and organize laundry and dishes. Did some vacuuming too. Went to the grocery store, had a student over to plan a lesson, cooked dinner, watched the UK game, and started de-junking my email inbox. Dan comes home tonight and I will be happy to have him home with me.

This day on 3-27

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3-26-11

 

Wrote all day. Actually finished my paper for NARST. It's not perfect, and it's not publishable as is, but it's done enough to present at a conference. What a lot of work. Squirt cooked dinner, I watched Freakanomics on Netflix, and called it a night.

 

Looked out the window before going to bed and for crying out loud- it's snowing. Freakaweather.

This day on 3-26

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3-25-11

Had a long coffee "meeting" with a colleague today- a very productive and enjoyable use of two hours.

This day on 3-25

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3-24-11

Up before dawn for a classroom observation, rushed off for my MRI, home for lunch and then up to the office for an hour to gather some stuff, then a trip to an elementary school to show a teacher how to use my curriculum, home by 4, dinner, and then... I did not work. I did not work. I lay on the couch talking with my son for over an hour and we just talked and talked and I snapped this photo with my iPhone to remember the moment as he was looking out the window above my head and we were philosophizing together. I want to remember this moment.

This day on 3-24

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3-23-11

 

Telephoto lens... peering out the front door.

I had a disturbing dream last night that my mother adopted me and I met my birth mother. She was a dumpy looking middle aged woman with scraggly hair. She looked like a mess. I asked her why she gave me up for adoption and she said it was because she wanted to get tenure and couldn't raise me too. I asked if she ever had any more children after me and she ran into the bathroom crying. She said she never had any more children because her career was more important. It obviously distressed her.

I think I am that woman and the child I have given up is my "life." I want my life back. All I do is work work work...

At least I keep up a daily photo blog. That's something.

This day on 3-23

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3-22-11

 

IRB meeting, group advising, responding to all sorts of emails from students, ranking 9 papers for a best paper award, teaching my night class (where we played with solar cars), and Dan taking the bus up to school to have dinner with me. Tiring day.

This day on 3-22

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3-21-11

I went to see Daniel Pink speak this morning to a group of about 1000 teachers in a mega church. I've never been in a church so huge- it was like a stadium. It was a complex with a gym and a cafe and two stories of seating with three projection screens. Wowzers. Those folks sure are tithing. Anyhow, the speech was pretty good.

 

The highlight of the day by far was lunch. Squirt brought back our favorite pizza and bagels from C'ville. Aza came over for her piece for dinner.

 

 

Oh, and I got my solar car kits today. Gonna play with them in class tomorrow night.

 

Ran. Worked on a paper for AERA. Full day tomorrow.

This day on 3-21

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3-20-11

 

First day of spring, 2011. I wanted a balanced day and decided to garden, sew, and work on my paper. So, I pruned the lavender shrub by the driveway and the sage bushes in the back yard. Then I took in two more pairs of pants, so now I have four that fit me. Picked some flowers, cooked dinner, and then worked on my paper. It's almost done. I have to work on the conclusions and implications section and incorporate a bit more literature. Ran this evening.

This will be a busy week of teaching, observing students, going to appointments and meetings, etc. Tomorrow I'm going to hear Daniel Pink speak here in town. That should be interesting.

This day on 3-20

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3-19-11

Note to self: It's OK to stay in bed all morning when you have a migraine. It's OK. Just do it and don't give yourself a hard time. You don't have to be productive every waking minute. You can take time out to just heal. Remember that next time. It will get better. It always does.

It got better.
I went to the store, went to another store, and another and another and came home with thread, a seam ripper, kombucha, a shower curtain, a frame for a painting, and some Kroger supplies.

Set to work taking in two pairs of pants. The benefit of losing 10 pounds is getting to take in clothes!

 

Sewing is not for the faint of heart. It's picky, exacting, frustrating work. But I did it and now have two more pairs of slacks to wear to work that fit me.

 

Dan helped me hang the shower curtain in Squirt's bathroom. It's a masculine fabric and does a nice job covering the whole shower. Matches the paint colors well too.

 

And then there was the moon! We missed the moonrise because we were enamored with having dinner and conversation with Dr. Phred and his beautiful wife. We had such a good time- such fun, good, authentic people- and stayed out past my bedtime. However, when I got home I just had to capture some photos of this moon. Big, bright, beautiful behind the trees.

This day on 3-19

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3-18-11

 

Bloodroot. Beautiful but toxic. Living in a symbiotic relationship with bees and ants to pollinate and spread and cultivate the seeds.

 

Vinca. Fast growing, spreading, invasive. Contains alkaloids that cure cancer.

Yin Yang.

Day two of a two day migraine- hoping it goes away after a night of sleeping with the sound of rain on the roof. Searching for the yang (the sunny spot) for the yin (dark place shaded by the mountain) I endure through migraine.

This day on 3-18

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