9-3-16

Today has hit me hard.

I noticed that he left his key behind. Cried.

I looked in his room. Cried.

His shampoo and all toiletries are gone from the bathroom. Cried.

I told a friend that waking up and not having him home was sad. Cried.

I'm writing this. Crying.

I need to repeat this mantra: He has not left me. He has just grown up. This is supposed to happen. This is what parenting feels like. This is normal. If I didn't feel sad, that would be abnormal.

I Google "Empty Nest Syndrome" and find page after page of descriptions and advice for coping with the LAST ONE TO LEAVE THE NEST. 

This is why it's so hard. He is the last one.

And he's my son.

And I worry. 

Squirt, please be well. Please find friends. Please find joy in the mountains. Please find your passion in life. Please drive safely. Please be careful while biking. Wear your helmet. Please see a doctor if you are sick (you have health insurance only until February). Get your teeth cleaned every six months. Please don't fall off a mountain. Please come home for Christmas.

And please call your mother regularly. She misses you and loves you more than anything. Know that. Know that to be the ultimate truth.

"Sons are the anchors of a mother's life." ~Sophocles

Feeling tossed about in the waves about now.

The gate. Children must pass through the gate.

But the gate is never locked-

and home is always waiting with a loving embrace.