Jes got a new car. She picked it out herself, had it checked over, bargained with the seller, and made the deal, spending her own money. 21 (almost 22) and she is a car owner.
6-24-08
Jes got a new car. She picked it out herself, had it checked over, bargained with the seller, and made the deal, spending her own money. 21 (almost 22) and she is a car owner.
6-13-08
Got a new cell phone. The house is a wreck. Neighbor brought over milk because I couldn't go out.
5-30-08
One week ago today I started testing chocolate. A former student mailed me two KitKat bars from Japan and I ate the one flavored strawberry. After that I felt fine, so indulged in more. One week later, I am officially allowed to each chocolate! No migraines all week. Considering the emotional week I've had, this is really good.
Now it's 11pm and I'm very sad, angry, anxious, confused, and my heart aches from the inside out.
5-29-08 Passport Redux Day
Now this is better. At first I had Jes take some photos of me up against a piece of white watercolor paper taped to the door in the laundry room, but she got up so close my nose looked big due to the fisheye effect of the lens. So, I set up my tripod and put it back by the window and used the time release to take a self portrait for my new passport.
Now, if only I could go somewhere interesting so I can use it! Canada!
Lost is on tonight and I'm gearing up for a popcorn-filled three hours of vice. Jes will be out- I hope the Squirt is home to keep me company. Dan, however, will be looking at the stars from his campsite in New Mexico. Hey, he gets an Internet connection, maybe he can watch the re-run tomorrow night!
Here's a photo of my to-do list (half of it)!
5-28-08 Passport Day
What evil monster took hold of my face and turned into that of an old woman? From 1995 to 2008, my passport photo modification looks like something from a horror film. It's embarrasing to post this transformation! Why am I doing this? It's just so shocking to see myself age like this from one passport to another. When I look in the mirror, and I hope that when my husband looks at me- there is a certain timeless beauty. This beauty is stolen by this horrid passport photo taken today and paid for. $14 for this cruel joke! Should I put on some makeup and pay $14 more to have it re-done? Should I find a white wall and set up a tripod to do it myself? Or is this just what I look like? Ug. Maybe I was cuter with short hair after all...
Vanity.
It's all vanity and I know it.
5-27-08
Today my rose bush bloomed, or at least I noticed that it bloomed. I also planted the flowers Kathy gave me. It was a busy day and Jes and I went to meditation class this evening which had a calming effect. I got a call from Dan when he was an hour outside Santa Fe, and heard him describe the snow capped mountains in the distance. Snow in New Mexico, flowers in Virginia.
5-26-08
For years I've tried to clean my shower, and it finally got to the point of no return. It had to be dissected. Taking things apart is what I do best. Putting them back together is a different challenge altogether. But I did it! Twice! It seems that the glass door is not a perfect rectangle, and I had to install the door twice before it would close correctly. It took all day, but kept me busy. Not that I'm trying to distract myself from feeling sad, anxious, and lonely... I'm just trying to make the best of a difficult situation. Tomorrow, I caulk.
5-25-08
Dan left this morning. We all sat around the kitchen table crying afterwards, blowing our noses and piling up wads of tissues in the middle of the table. After a while I told the kids I'd take them driving in their dad's car so they could learn stick. Jes went first and she was quite jerky. Squirt went next, and he had beginner's luck. We went around a parking lot until some freak started doing circles in the middle of the parking lot. Jes drove in our neighborhood. I think she has the hang of it, except on hills.
Later that afternoon, Squirt asked for the axe we'd hidden for years since a near-tree chopping. I said NO, that I would never tell him where it was. He proceeded to search the whole house, then announced that he KNEW it was in the attic, went to get a ladder, climbed up it, and found all the dangerous things we'd hidden there from him for 10 years.
I feel empty inside.
5-24-08
Today was packing day. Dan loaded up the minivan with all his food and equipment for the trip. We went to dinner at Belmont Barbeque, and had a Ben and Jerry's scoop for dessert. I cried on and off all day. Woke up from a nightmare. My heart actually hurts when I think of him leaving in the morning. I wonder how long it will take for me to not hurt. He leaves in the morning.
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